Gremlins (1984). Dir. Joe Dante. Starring Hoyt Axton, Phoebe Cates, Zach Galligan, and Corey Feldman.
A Christmas movie for Halloween time. The implications alone are horrifying. Gremlins is the tale of a struggling inventor who stumbles upon a mysterious shop in Chinatown. Inside he obtains a small, strange creature known as a Mogwai. The rules of ownership of the Mogwai are simple: 1. Keep it out of any type of bright light. Sunlight outright kills the Mogwai. 2. Don’t get the Mogwai Wet. Keep it away from water. 3. No matter what, don’t feed the Mogwai after midnight. Of course – the inventor and his family manage to bumblefuck everything up in record time.
What follows is chaos. Turns out when Mogwai get wet, the multiply. So now there are a myriad of Mogwai – all of them lacking the “cute and cuddly” nature of their progenitor, Gizmo. The new generation of creatures immediately begin to show signs of a rebellious nature and the leader of the bunch, Stripe, eventually leads to the breaking of the “No food past midnight” rule. The Gremlins transform and begin wreaking havoc on townsfolk, murdering people, and playing poker.
All of this – in a Christmas movie. It boggles the mind. I had never actually seen Gremlins in it’s entirety, so I went in expecting “OMG THE GREATEST MOVIE EVAR. I GREW UP ON GREMLINS AND IT’S THE GRAEATTSET”. It was alright. I didn’t love it, it didn’t scare me, it didn’t make me jump for joy at the triumphant ending – it was just alright. Not bad, not amazing, certainly not scary – Alright. Acceptable even.
Scare Factor: 1/5
Trench-Coated Gremlin Flasher: Why?